However, it is to be expected as she was already over 2 years old, and the life span of her species of hammies only live a maximum of 2 years.
To be very honest when I went on this Tokyo trip I thought there might be a chance she would leave us forever before we came back. I've been dreading her dying since a few months ago. Everytime she sleeps, I'd hyperventilate a little till I see that she's still breathing, and I sigh in relief.
I don't know if it's worse seeing her dead or to see her die, I guess I'd never find out.
On the flight back and even thoughout the trip I kept telling Mike I missed her and that the first thing I do when I get back home was to snuggle her against my cheek.
But when we stepped in, I was busy taking off my boots and Mike got to her tank first. Wanting to cuddle her, he tried to wake her up from inside her toy TV... He flipped the tv sideways when she won't bulge, and I saw her body just drop to the side. I yelled at Mike "Is she dead? IS SHE DEAD?" coz the suspense was just terrible. Not that seeing the look on his face was any better.
I went over and Mike said "Don't look, baby... Don't look." But she just looked like she was sleeping... In fact, her little front paws where placed on top of each other and she even looked cute.
But when I reached out to stroke her furry head she was warm, but stiff... I couldn't stop crying, why the fuck did I go to Tokyo??? I missed out precious time with her... I just thought she'd survive this trip, like she survived my other trips... She was always waiting for me to come home, eagerly.
I read somewhere that Home is not a place, it's a time. And home is when Mike and Nanolove were around the house. Suddenly I didn't feel happy to be back in Singapore anymore, it just seemed so pointless.
By her 2nd birthday, all but one of Nanolove's siblings had passed away, including Picolove, whom my mom took care off since 1.5 years ago (and therefore I wasn't too upset when she died).
I was so grateful she was still with us that I made her a birthday meal!!
Her birthday dinner consisted of a heart sandwich with asparagus and cheese on wholewheat bread, plus a little gummy cake!
There is something very satisfying about watching a hammie eat!
It was a happy day that day :)
I used to not understand whenever people told me they were sad when their hamsters died. I mean, cats, dogs, yes, but a stupid hamster? I used to have hamsters when I was a kid... They were just in the tank and would bite if you bring them out... So I didn't really care much when they died.
But the amount of bonding I had with Nanolove really surprised me. I didn't know hammies could be held and even like being held... They have very noticeable quirks and habits and they recognise their owners. I fed her fresh food from my hands almost everyday.
I remember whenever I used to cook, my entire "family" at home would be happy. Pumpkin and Nano would get some raw veggies (or meat for Pumpkin) from the session and Mike would love the finished meal. But now Pumpkin is gone and so is Nanolove... I'm cutting up cabbage for my maggie mee and I wanna walk over to give her some but she's not there anymore. I'm tearing away the crust from my bread and thinking "Nano doesn't mind crusts, she's too greedy" but it will just remain a thought never translated into action.
She is so adorable that even Mike couldn't resist her charms... Often she occupies our evening coz we are either looking into her cage watching her gorge herself on food or just poking her furry belly while she lies down on my palm...
Just like that!!
When I was choosing from among a litter of 6 hammies, I held her on my palm and it totally surprised me that she would just lie there calmly for periods of time!! Lying on her back is her favourite position, which is super duper adorable. Picolove would never lie on her back and as far as I know, neither do Nanolove's siblings.
I remember enjoying cleaning her tank for her because whenever I put her back into her fresh tank, she'd be so excited and happy she'd run around for ages exploring. Or Mike and I would sit on the floor with our legs forming a square so she can run inside the space. I love her she holds her food with her pink paws. And she can stuff a total of 11 sunflower seeds in her cheeks.
Speaking of that, whenever Pico and Nano were young I used to give them sunflower seeds as treats. When I gave Pico a seed, she will proceed to bite it open to eat. This takes a while. Nano did the same at first, and whenever the hammies finish opening + eating I'd feed them another sunflower seed. This goes on till I'm bored, usually within 3 seeds.
After a while, Nanolove realised that her human, aka me, has something called impatience. She also realised that when she is done with one seed, she gets another seed. So putting two and two together, she decided from then on to STORE her seeds in her cheek whenever I give her a seed, so she gets another seed immediately!
Meanwhile Picolove is totally losing out coz she is, erm, slower and persists in deshelling her food on the spot.
Smart right?? And that's how I know Nanolove can store 11 seeds at once. LOL
Sigh... She was such a huge part of my life... She was a big reason why I love staying at home.
I did up a college of her photos I took throughout the 2 years...
And a video of her best moments I managed to capture on film:
Will I ever stop feeling sad every time I see her empty tank?
Thanks for being the best pet ever, Nanopuff!
NANOLOVE AUGUST 2008 to SEPTEMBER 2010
We buried her with her favourite puff balls at the field before my block.
I hope you are in hammie heaven now with loads of colourful cotton balls and sunflower seeds and cheese and tunnels for you to explore.
:( :( :(
p/s: I was actually recovering pretty well until I wrote this post and now I'm horrifically sad again wtf