If you are anonymous - you must be a fat ugly loser in real life.
If you show your identity and you look ugly - You should do plastic surgery.
If you show your identity and you already did plastic surgery - you are fake and disgusting.
If you are au-natural and pretty - you are still fake coz you put make-up, or must photoshop your pictures.
If you are pretty and don't put make up - it's because you don't know how. Also, you look boring and pale.
If you are pretty and put make up - you are superficial, insecure and shallow. Go save a whale.
If you get popular - you are a famewhore.
If you don't get popular - you are a nobody.
If you get popular and earn money from being popular - you are a sell-out.
If you get popular but don't earn money - you are stupid, and also, who you think you are, so bloody high and mighty?
If you are single and not dating - something's wrong with you.
If you are single and dating - you are a slut.
If you are attached - your boyfriend is either ugly or too good for you.
If you are married - you are a boring housewife.
If you are married with kids - why the fuck are you blogging when you should be looking after your kids? You are a shit mom.
If your partner is rich - you are a gold-digger.
If your partner is poor - you are a unrealistic romantic and if you break up with him for someone who works later on, you are a gold-digger.
If your partner is nice - Don't know what he sees in you.
If your partner is a jerk - You are a moron for dating him in the first place but you deserve no better anyway.
If you keep your life private - you have something to hide and you are a liar.
If you don't keep your life private and your life is sad - What a loser.
If you don't keep your life private and your life is fab - What a show off.
If you don't speak your mind - you are stupid, apathetic and unopinionated.
If you speak your mind - you are ignorant and talking about things you don't know about. You should shut up.
If you are fat - that's the only thing you are. That and disgusting.
If you are skinny - You must be anexoric or bulimic. Also you are making other women feel fat and thus spreading unhealthy weight ideals.
If you are of average weight - You are fat.
If you don't respond to haters - Means what they said must be true and you have nothing to say.
If you respond nicely to haters - They will just have more ammunition and hate you more.
If you respond rudely to haters - You cannot take criticism and you are a cyberbully.
Overall... You just can't win!!
Anymore to add? Put them in the comments!!
I'm flying off to Dallas for my annual trip to visit Mike's family so I won't be approving comments in the next, erm, 30 hours!! Bye guys!